Identifying Trouble Signs in Your Relationship: Understanding the Symptoms and Seeking Professional Help through Marriage Counselling
- Admin
- Apr 1
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 9
Navigating the ups and downs of a romantic relationship can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster ride. Even the strongest partnerships can face challenges, but spotting trouble signs early can be key to finding your way back to harmony. Recognising the dynamics of your relationship is important, especially when it’s time to consider professional support.
In this post, we will explore common symptoms of relationship distress, providing practical examples to help you identify these red flags before they escalate. Remember, seeking help shows strength; it’s an important step toward healing. Let's journey through this together, particularly with the support of marriage counselling.
Criticism: Attacking Character
One major sign that your relationship is in trouble is when criticism becomes a primary form of communication. This isn’t about giving helpful feedback; it often turns into personal attacks that target your partner’s character.
For instance, instead of saying, “I feel upset when you forget our plans,” you might say, “You never care about our relationship.” This kind of statement can lead to resentment and emotional withdrawal. Research suggests that in relationships with high levels of criticism, 60% of couples report feeling trapped in a cycle of negativity. If you catch yourself slipping into this pattern, take a moment to reflect on what might be causing these feelings.
Defensiveness: Playing the Victim
Defensiveness is another clear indication of a struggling relationship. When partners adopt a victim mentality, it becomes hard to have healthy conversations. Defensiveness usually shows itself through excuses or blaming the other person, often leading to an ineffective dialogue where no one feels heard.
For example, if one partner brings up a concern and the other responds with, “You always make me feel like I’m the bad guy,” communication breaks down. Studies have shown that defensiveness is one of the most common responses in negative interactions, making it difficult to reach mutual understanding. If you notice this behavior becoming frequent, it might be time to reassess how you communicate and connect.
Expressions of Contempt: The Silent Killer
Contempt is perhaps the most lethal sign of a failing relationship. It includes negative behaviors that can severely damage the respect shared between partners.
Contempt may manifest as sarcasm, mocking comments, or dismissive body language like eye-rolling. According to a famous study by John Gottman, couples that display contempt are 5 times more likely to end their relationship than couples that don’t. Recognizing when your interactions carry a tone of contempt is crucial; it signals a loss of affection and respect. If this pattern exists, it’s essential to address it before further harm is done.
Stonewalling: Withdrawing Into Silence
The final major symptom of a troubled relationship is stonewalling, where one partner becomes emotionally distant or silent. This can be seen in simple behaviors, like giving short answers or avoiding discussions altogether.
While it’s natural to need space sometimes, chronic stonewalling can hinder effective communication. Research shows that about 85% of couples dealing with ongoing stonewalling report feeling emotionally disconnected. If you or your partner find yourselves shutting down frequently, it may be creating barriers that are hard to break through.

Moving Forward: The Importance of Seeking Marriage counselling
Acknowledging these trouble signs is only the first step in creating a healthier relationship. Identifying issues is essential, but addressing them is even more important. Seeking professional assistance isn't a sign of failure; it shows your commitment to growth and improvement.
Experts at Motion Wellness specialize in marriage counselling tailored to help couples through their toughest times. Their strategies are based on empathy and practical solutions, focusing on the unique challenges each couple faces. Remember, it’s never too late to reach out and seek the help you deserve.
Taking the Next Steps for Relationship Health
Understanding the signs of a distressed relationship provides a crucial pathway to intervention. Whether dealing with criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling, recognizing these issues leads to action.
Relationships can have high and low points, but being proactive is essential. Marriage counselling can offer the guidance and tools you need to work through challenges and build a stronger bond. Don’t wait for issues to worsen; take that important step toward healing right now.
By confronting these challenges together and seeking expert help, you can pave the way for a brighter, more connected relationship.


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